


The Curious Prothean

by millsenberry



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 03:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5031169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millsenberry/pseuds/millsenberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's performance review time, & Commander Shepard has asked EDI to evaluate the Normandy's latest crew member for input to add her report. EDI decides to monitor Javik's Extranet search history. Very short one-shot, pure humor, ME3.<br/>***canon***</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Curious Prothean

**I wrote this shortie at the request of a reader back on fanfiction.net. I hope I've done their request justice!**

* * *

 

 

"Shepard," EDI addressed Shepard as the Commander perused datapads in her cabin, intent on completing the crew's performance reviews before the day's end. "I have completed my evaluation of Javik's mental and physical wellbeing as you requested. Rather than give you an extensive report, I believe a list of the Prothean's Extranet searches will be sufficient enough for you to extrapolate how well he is settling into the crew."

"Send them on to me, EDI." Shepard barely looked up from Donnelly's evaluation report.

"Forwarding to your personal terminal now, Shepard."

* * *

"Human history"; "Commander Shepard's history"; "Shepard, Reapers, Citadel"; "Sovereign"

[ _new search]_

"Female human history"; "Notable females in history"; "Marilyn Munroe"; [Extranet images search] "Marilyn Munroe photos"; "Commander Shepard photos"; "Commander Shepard in a bikini"

"Fornax"; "Fornax subscriptions"

[ _new search]_

"Fish"; "types of fish"; "boneless fish"; "humpback whale"; "suppliers of wholesale fish, Citadel"

"Fish balls"; "Sushi"

[ _new search]_

"Salarian liver"; "where to order Salarian liver"

[ _new search]_

[Extranet Video Search] "Ultimate dog tease"

"Talking dogs"; "dog physiology"; "what do dogs taste like"

[ _new search]_

"20 ways to artistically throw someone out of the airlock"

[ _new search]_

"Avatar"; "James Cameron"; "blue primitives"; "blue primitives as pets"

[ _new search]_

"21st century music"; "Gangnam style"; "How to dance Gangnam style"

[ _new search]_

"Bruce Lee"; "Jackie Chan"; [Extranet Video Search] "Kung-Fu vids"

[ _new search]_

"Hand moisturizing cream"

[ _new search]_

"Miss Universe 2185"; "cosmetic surgery"; "genetic manipulation"; "Cover Girl cosmetics"; "Victoria's Secret"; "Victoria's Secret online store"; "Normandy SR2's address"

[ _new search]_

"Separate sex restrooms"; "how to use a urinal"

[ _new search]_

[Extranet Video Search] "Sneezing baby panda"; "endangered pandas"; "panda recipes"

[ _new search]_

"Rachni"; "Rachni Wars"; "Spiders"; "insect spray"

[ _new search]_

"Inter-species mating"; "Capital punishment in the 21st century"; "Nerve-Stim Pro"

[ _new search]_

"Africa"; "African accent"; "African Government"; "Africa to take over Earth"; "The Lion King"; "what do lions taste like"; "Mufasa's voice actor"; "James Earl Jones"; "J. E. Jones fanclub"

[ _new search]_

"Fire-proof armor"

[ _new search]_

"Staring contest championships"; "criteria to enter staring contest championships"

[ _new search]_

"Big stupid jellyfish"; "how to cook a Hanar"

[ _new search]_

"Notable human literature"; "Harry Potter"; "Pride and Prejudice"; "Mr Darcy"; "Mr Darcy swimming in the lake"; "Colin Firth"

* * *

"Ah. Looks like he's fitting in just fine," Shepard smiled to herself.


End file.
